The Land of Tears

Lately I have been supporting two good friends to overcome situations. I am not going to talk what happened to them nor who they are, however the common background they both have is that before those incidents, we didn’t have such a “heart-to-heart” conversation. Of course those situations are not easy to deal with, but I was happy that these friends talked to me about it and glad that they had confidence on me for telling.

What makes me think a bit deeper on this fact is how the confidence is built between humans and what makes us feel that we can be confident on someone, at the same time other people doesn’t feel similar against the same person.

Let’s say a person A is said to be good at keeping a secret that a friend B told. If this person A could keep it, means that he/she can keep all secrets? If a person A has this capacity, it is supposed it would be the same for whatever secret or personal thing that a friend confessed.

But obviously, experience and life tells us that the person A might not keep a secret that a person C told him/her previously. Why so?

What is the reason why the same person A would keep B’s confident but not C?
What makes people think differently over similar situations under similar conditions?

What makes people be confident on A, and some other people wouldn’t?
Why do we trust someone as to tell something personal and we do not trust others?

What is the level of understanding between two friends, two good friends, two old friends, two lovers, a couple or a married couple? Is it a matter of confidence, of feelings, of attraction? All of them or any?

So many questions came across this topic, which is in the end, how much friends are involved in someone’s personal situation and what friends can do for it in order to overcome bad moments.

All of us we do have secrets, and sometimes we feel we are alone in our sorrows, when the truth is that when we do find the right person to talk to, we feel that we are not alone in this huge world and there is someone who shares, respects and supports the things we are facing and trying to overcome.

Every conscious living of this world has two shapes, the one we do show everyday to those surrounding us, and a private part, in which we have to deal ourselves with our own thoughts, worries, actions and moral.

Most of us we do keep it for ourselves until a time comes that we have to spread it out, take it out of our thoughts and share it with some people so that we can release our mind.
And the more we try to communicate and express what we really feel, the better we will feel and the more confidence can be built between friends.

I remember many years ago a friend of mine told me that in order to keep “harmony” between her group of friends, she tended not to express what she felt in front of her friends. Then I did ask her that how could she know who was her friend or not if she never dared to express what she liked or what she didn’t?

It was then when she realized that we should find a way to express what we feel or what we like or dislike to others in order to know who of our friends could be more in “line” with our thoughts or way to live.

I do not say that all friends have to share same opinions or living style, I myself have a variety of friends from many parts of the world that are completely different. Even my friends in Spain are such an interesting type; most wouldn’t get along together unless I was there in-between them! That is funny :)

Anyway, what I wanted to say is that every of us has a private life or happenings that we usually don’t express, which is respectable. At the same time when we are in trouble we often feel this need of expressing that situation to someone we trust.

And in this exercise of sincerity we can find not only a way to release ourselves but also a unique chance to open ourselves to others and to create new links, personal links with the receiver that will certainly last for long and help to develop a higher quality friendship.

Everyone has secrets and sometimes we need to keep them for ourselves, in a secret place where we would be the only ones affected for them. Tears, sorrows, loneliness, all bad feelings we may have, we do not want others to know. However when we open ourselves it is when we gain most, and there is always something to win when we can share our sorrows and tears with others. I was advised by one old teacher of mine to do the same, “open yourself to others, you will always win”. I think my teacher was right...

...We find then that things happen more often than we think, that we are not the first ones to be in sorrow under those situations, that we are not alone, that there is always someone in who we can trust and this is certainly one of the most valuable parts of living.

Even the world population is over six thousand millions of people, we sometimes need just one of them to listen to feel better.

It is such a secret place, the land of tears. A place where nobody wants to be seen, a place where loneliness plays the main role, a place where no one lives except our own consciousness.

It is a place where we can be alone not being seen, a place where nobody can hear no matter how loud we would cry, a place where tears, dreams and reality mix up in the middle land of nowhere.

And yet it is probably the place where we do learn most of our own feelings, motivations and where a small ray of light shaped with a friend’s help can be the beginning of a renewed life.

Only when we understand and overcome those feelings we will be able to appreciate more what we have, and what we lost. A place where loosing something means a quest for a new treasure research, where the lost confidence can bring a chance to transform into better communication and understanding, a place where the salty tears of sorrow can start transforming into sweet tears of happiness.

The land of tears shouldn’t be a dark place where we just keep alone.

It is, in fact, a place in where we can renew ourselves and try to be more mature as we do try to change ourselves consciously to gain a better quality of life.

Such a secret place where we are consciously alone, and yet, a chance to create a wonderful new life lies.